Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Book Reviews. Because I am quite Learnéd...

...but let's not get carried away. These are both reviews of zombie books. And they're both pretty rad.

Patient Zero

First is Jonathan Maberry's 2009 novel of manliness, "Patient Zero". It follows the exploits of Baltimore cop Joe Ledger as he is recruited by the top secret Department of Military Science and goes on to face a cast of villains that includes mad scientists, Islamic terrorists, and hordes of zombies created by the aforementioned pairing. Their target? The good old US of A of course. And on the 4th or July no less. Oh hell naw.

Lucky for us red-blooded Americans, Joe Ledger is the manliest lead character I've read in a while. So manly that I picture any movie version would star Gerard Butler if he weren't a fat guy now, and include many extended scenes of gunfire, zombie guts, and loud growling from every character on screen, like an amped-up conversation between Christian Bale and Sam Worthington in Terminator: Salvation. His teammates are basically the 300 Spartans if they were born in modern times and joined the Rainbow 6 team.

To be critical for a moment, the book does get a little "Rah-rah, go USA!!!" at times, and it doesn't exactly make early M. Night Shyamalan plot twists, (though thankfully, it doesn't make current M. Night Shyamalan anything). The love interest is basically Lara Croft. Seriously. She's this hot British chick who leads a rival squad of anti-weird shit commandos and she doesn't like Joe Ledger. Because he's a loose cannon who plays by his own rules? Because she's a woman fighting for respect in a male-dominated group and can't be sexily vulnerable, no matter how much she needs to be sometimes? Maybe. Add on an enigmatic boss who is emotionless and all Cancer-Man like, and you've got yourself an action movie... Er, book.

Actually, Ledger does go beyond the macho 80's movie action caricature at times, coming up with strategies and solving what rudimentary puzzles the supervillains throw his way. It offsets the fact that he's basically an indestructible bad-ass and sometimes the sense of actual danger to the character is comically low. Overall, Patient Zero gets a 7.4 of 10 from me.

Rise Again

The author of this 2010 book is Ben Tripp, and hopefully it sells well and there's a sequel, because the ending refuses to provide closure. That's as far as I'll go on the spoiler route, but if you don't like stuff that ends with a BIG question mark, you have been forewarned. The story is very "Walking-Dead" like, featuring an alcoholic female Iraq veteran ginger sheriff of a small mountain town who has to survive and help others survive a horde of undead swarming up the mountains from Los Angeles. Coincidentally, the zombie apocalypse in this novel also starts of the 4th of July, making me wonder what it is about that holiday that makes aliens, zombies, and countless other assorted scoundrels hate America so much.

In terms of character and thematic development, Rise Again has a lot more going for it than Patient Zero. Danielle Adelman, the lead character is messed up and gets progressively more messed up as the situation unfolds, and still comes off as a heroic character even if she comes off as a bitch a few times. Though you kind of earn the right to be disagreeable when the storyline tends to throw you under the bus as much as it does to Danny, both literally and figuratively.

All the basic elements of Zombie Apocalypse fiction are present here, from the reluctant leader, the rag-tag survivor groups and individual colorful characters, and run-ins with survivors who are worse than the zombies a la "28 Days Later". You've got the small town sheriff, the gay couple, the Vietnam Vet, and some bikers, occasionally making it feel a little too much like an expanded Left 4 Dead campaign. I did like how Tripp actually addresses the fact that Zombies being walking corpses and all, will start to fall apart after long enough, and I liked some of the big, end-of-the-world imagery, especially when Danny takes a trip to San Francisco in search of her lost sister. Also, the sense that characters you like might actually die is very strong and appropriate for something like this.

The end is a little unsatisfying. It goes a little Mad Max, with tribes wandering the earth and Denzel Washington fighting people with a machete. Actually, that part about Denzel isn't real, but the rest of it is accurate. Mainly, the end is unsatisfying because instead of closing the page on the one overriding question throughout the entire book, it creates a cliffhanger. (This is what happens in a post-Battlestar, post-LOST world, I guess.)

Rise Again gets an 8 out of 10.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Man or Machine

Nobody was aware, but from about two days after my last blog, to about an hour ago, I was stuck in deep space. Filling in for me was a fairly life-like android with unfortunately sub-par blogging ability. (Meaning, he was slightly better at it than me, but I didn't want to give him any ideas about making this situation permanent.) He lacked the pretension/ego-centrism subroutine required to make regular updates, so I gave up my life in the stars to return and set things right.

And that is why it has been so long since I last put anything up on this dusty, cobwebbed corner of the internet. Now that I've returned, expect a staggering increase in posts. I'm talking two, maybe THREE before the end of 2011.

This post is not to be confused with similar incidents from my childhood resulting in lost homework, though I maintain that those were just as true.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Life comes at you fast. Blink and it's gone.

I didn't have a Geocities site. My first personal website (coded entirely in notepad, bitches) was hosted on my ISP's server because they gave me a whopping 2 megabytes of storage and ftp access back in 1997. Yet, when I heard Yahoo! was shutting down Geocities, I felt a surprising amount of nostalgia.

Geocities, for those unfamiliar with it, was a free web host where you could basically make a website about anything you damn well pleased with no regard for design aesthetics or proper HTML coding. It was part of the internet's early, wild-west phase. Geocities sites were often ridiculed for being ugly, never updated, and swarming with "under construction" .gif images that never really meant anything was being worked on.

It was also a precursor to the slew of "social networking" sites, blogs, etc. that everybody enjoys (or is completely sick of) today. There were other similar hosting services, but Geocities seems to have been the first one to really attract a large number of people to put up something on the internet for the world to see, resulting in a beautiful mess of blinking text, dancing hamsters, and general midi renditions of hit songs.

There were Guestbooks, which evolved into today's comment boxes. Webrings, connected sites kind of like your friend network on Facebook, only under the pretense of sharing some thematic similarity with each other. Annoying, badly placed animated images and overblown use of every possible HTML trick which became Myspace. *rimshot!*

Before the sites went under the virtual wrecking ball, a number of projects (and users) scrambled to save and archive as much as they could. Seemed an odd thing to be concerned with at first. Then it suddenly occurs to me how everything is seems to be digital now and it's easy to copy and archive, but equally easy to lose forever. Historians study letters and journal entries from normal people in different eras to understand how they lived. Since everything we do exists in the digital world, is any of what we're saying going to even going to stick around that long?

More importantly, did I just write that entire thing about geocities? Getting lost in my own head would be more fun if I didn't talk to myself so much.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Mo' blogging by moblogging.


The alien overlords have seen fit to grant me power to blog from my phone. So I will be doing so.

Annoyingly, VZ adds stuff as seen below... I shall be deleting this superfluous text accordingly. Unless the big V decides to pay me... In which case, being a capitalist, I'll leave it there. But I voted for Obama, so I must be a socialist... Truly I am a walking contradiction.

This message has been sent using the picture and Video service from Verizon Wireless!

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Nobody asks if I'm a Ninja

I don't draw nearly enough anymore. I don't blog as much as I would like either. This way, I get back on track with both. Or neglect both in a more efficient manner...
The Sketchy Life
Done in about 20 minutes with my trusty fountain pen and not scanned, but photographed because my old ass scanner is "teh suck".